A song I've heard at least 100 times played on the radio as I drove home from school today. The tune played as was all too familiar to me, but something was different. Even though I knew the words by heart...they somehow hit home to me today.
Have you been walking on a surface that’s uncertain
Have you helped yourself to everything that’s empty
You can’t live, This way too long,
There’s more than this, More than this
Have you been standing on your own feet too long
Have you been looking for a place where you belong
You can rest, You will find rest
Let this old life crumble, Let it fade,
Let this new life offered be your saving grace,
Let this old life crumble let it fade, Let it fade
I'm at a point in my life where things/people/places that I once called home somehow seem foreign to me. I feel like Jo March from the book, Little Women, when she desperately needed to get away from her hometown in search of 'something more'. I don't want to sound like a snob, but there is not a whole lot Kingsport can offer me anymore. Don't get me wrong, it's my childhood home...a place of memories...growing and love.
I've lived a happy life so far. I've met many people who have touched my life in various ways. I can honestly say that even though I've had many friends over the years, only a handful I can truly say are my 'best'. Regardless of how long it's been since we've spoken, or how many miles away we are...or how much age difference between us...they have been my most special blessings.
To Karla, Lucy and *last but not least* Mom, thank you for being you and for being in my life. You three somehow 'understood me' from the moment I met each of you. I love each of you dearly and thank you for seeing the real me...and still loving me anyways.
I want, crave, need and desire my move to Florida...if I could I'd move next week! I do, however, need to finish my last semester of Nursing school at ETSU in the fall.
Even though I dream of my new life to come, I know I must make some big life changes here before I go.
I'm nowhere near where I need to be spiritually to withstand the vanity focused society of West Palm Beach, nor am I physically ready to meet the demands of my Nursing career. In a nutshell, my summer's focus' shall be to strengthen my spirit and strengthen my body. I truly want to be the Christian woman God wants me to be. I want to be a light and life to others around me and that others would see Jesus in my actions/thoughts/words/countenance.
Well, I do believe that is all for now.
I love you all